Delay

I haven’t written much on this blog. But it’s not because I am a procrastinator or because I have nothing to say. I have plenty to say, but am hesitant to take the time to express what is on my mind and on my heart.

A couple years ago, I took my teens on an educational trip through the South. We traveled from Texas to Virginia before heading for home. We visited a lot of historical sites where we learned more about our nation’s history–especially the pre-Columbian, Colonial, Revolutionary War, Antebellum, Civil War and Civil Rights eras. We also explored a lot of wetlands and beaches. It was a glorious trip.

I had grown up in Virginia, so a number of the sites we visited there were places I had visited as a kid myself. So, it was wonderful and insightful to get to share those same sites with my kids decades later. One place that particularly intrigued me was Monticello, Thomas Jefferson’s plantation outside of Charlottesville. I visited it several times when I was little and my memories involve docents raving about how brilliant Jefferson was. He was a Renaissance man who was constantly studying, had mastered multiple languages and invented clever things. There was little to no mention of the enslaved people who worked the plantation and gave him the leisure time to do all those things. Heck, there was not even much mention of Jefferson’s white family. I remember leaving Monticello with the impression that Jefferson was this demigod who lived on the top of this hill essentially alone, almost like a monk. I had a vague notion that there were enslaved people who did all the work, but that was not the real story and it was ignored by all.

More recently when I visited with my kids, it was a very different story! Yes, the docents told us how brilliant Jefferson was. But it was also noted that he wasn’t really an inventor as I had been told in the 70s. He was more a collector of ideas–he implemented at Monticello things that others came up with elsewhere. We were also told that he essentially buried himself in his suite and only two servants–one of whom was Sally Hemmings–was allowed into his chambers. The docents noted that he was oblivious or indifferent to the comfort or convenience of others. It was a patriarchal home–his comforts and wishes were all that mattered. There was mention of the guest beds being so hot in the summer because they were built into the wall where no air could circulate. The docent noted that Dolly Madison especially hated staying at Monticello for this reason and had her mattress placed on the floor so she could sleep without sweltering. It was also noted that the rest of the family had their quarters in the cramped upstairs, and had to go up and down a smaller little staircase to go between their chambers and the public rooms. The docent noted that Jefferson’s constantly pregnant older daughter, Martha, would have had a very difficult time navigating those stairs in big skirts with children in tow and/or with a pregnant belly.

In addition to the main tour of the house, there was also an additional tour focusing on the lives of the enslaved people at Monticello. That was very insightful and sad. And since my last visit to Monticello, DNA science has evolved. The Jefferson descendants and the estate now recognize that Jefferson had a number of children with Sally Hemmings. The lives of all the Hemmingses really fascinated me. After we visited, I ended up reading a number of books on the white women in the Jefferson family, the entire Hemmings family, as well as Sally Hemmings specifically. I am glad that history has evolved to not just focus on the lives of powerful white men. History should take a fuller view of all the people who lived in the past. And we should appreciate the contributions and experiences of those whom our society tends to overlook, even today.

I haven’t written much since beginning this blog. And a lot of it is due to guilt. If I take time away from my home and family responsibilities, I worry that I’ll be like Jefferson. Taking time for creative or introspective endeavors means that time is sacrificed elsewhere. There are opportunity costs to my taking time to write. And people may suffer as a result. My main takeaway from my most recent visit to Monticello was that Jefferson was not a real admirable guy. He put his comforts and desires ahead of everyone else’s. I don’t want to be like that.